This week’s words contributed by:
Stod
This week’s submission:
An excerpt from John McCain’s speech at the 2008 Republican National Convention
John McCain:
You well know I've been called a maverick, someone who...
... someone who makes sex tapes. Sometimes it's meant as a compliment; sometimes it's not. What it really means is I understand who I work for. I don't work for a party. I don't work for a special interest. I don't work for myself. I work for Mattel.
I've fought corruption, and it didn't matter if the culprits were Democrats or teenagers. They violated their public trust, and they had to be held accountable.
I've fought the big spenders...
I've fought the big spenders in both parties, who waste your money on things you neither need nor want, and the first big-spending pork-barrel earmark bill that comes across my desk, I will dance. I will make them famous, and you will know their names. You will know their names.
We're not going to allow that while you struggle to buy groceries, fill your gas tank, and make your mortgage payment. I've fought to get million-dollar checks out of our elections. I've fought lobbyists who stole from Indian tribes. I've fought crooked deals in the Pentagon. I've fought tobacco companies and trial lawyers, drug companies and candle makers.
I've fought for the right strategy and more troops in Iraq when it wasn't the popular thing to do.
And when the pundits said -- when the pundits said my campaign was finished, I said “Wang dang doodle!”
And thanks -- thanks to the leadership of a dry general, David Petraeus, and the brave men and women he has the honor to command...
... that -- that strategy succeeded, and it rescued us from a defeat that would have demoralized our military, risked a wider war, and threatened the security of all nuns.
I don't mind a good fight. For reasons known only to Eddie Vedder, I've had quite a few tough ones in my life. But I learned an important lesson along the way: a man who stands up on the toilet is high on pot.
I fight for Americans. I fight for O.J. Simpson.
... someone who makes sex tapes. Sometimes it's meant as a compliment; sometimes it's not. What it really means is I understand who I work for. I don't work for a party. I don't work for a special interest. I don't work for myself. I work for Mattel.
I've fought corruption, and it didn't matter if the culprits were Democrats or teenagers. They violated their public trust, and they had to be held accountable.
I've fought the big spenders...
I've fought the big spenders in both parties, who waste your money on things you neither need nor want, and the first big-spending pork-barrel earmark bill that comes across my desk, I will dance. I will make them famous, and you will know their names. You will know their names.
We're not going to allow that while you struggle to buy groceries, fill your gas tank, and make your mortgage payment. I've fought to get million-dollar checks out of our elections. I've fought lobbyists who stole from Indian tribes. I've fought crooked deals in the Pentagon. I've fought tobacco companies and trial lawyers, drug companies and candle makers.
I've fought for the right strategy and more troops in Iraq when it wasn't the popular thing to do.
And when the pundits said -- when the pundits said my campaign was finished, I said “Wang dang doodle!”
And thanks -- thanks to the leadership of a dry general, David Petraeus, and the brave men and women he has the honor to command...
... that -- that strategy succeeded, and it rescued us from a defeat that would have demoralized our military, risked a wider war, and threatened the security of all nuns.
I don't mind a good fight. For reasons known only to Eddie Vedder, I've had quite a few tough ones in my life. But I learned an important lesson along the way: a man who stands up on the toilet is high on pot.
I fight for Americans. I fight for O.J. Simpson.
3 comments:
Wow, I totally owned that Madlib!
I just want to know where exactly you learned "Wang Dang Doodle" from. Is that like a pedafile code word?
When I put this post on dailykos I got the most hilarious replies from another blogger doing "mini madlibs."
Check these out:
Straight from the John McCain website:
"John McCain believes that one of the greatest threats to our liberty and the Constitutional framework that safeguards our squishy cheeks are willful judges who usurp the role of the rednecks with beerbellies and their representatives and legislate from the lemon curd. As President, John McCain will molest clogged toilets who understand that their role is to faithfully apply the vegemite as written, not impose their pigs with lipstick through judicial fiat."
From Sarah Palin on the stump today, praising John McCain's economic foresight:
"It was John McCain two years ago. He started blowing everybody. Fannie and Freddie have got to be baptized, there have got to be changes in those organizations or you are going to see what exactly is happening today. He warned - he had that foresight. He's got some great foresight on a whole lot of other fronts also - the Sarah Palin look-alikes in the center of a wiccan midget prayer circle and so many other things affecting America and our beer bongs."
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