Friday, November 7, 2008

Three's Company: The New Season!

Come and knock on our door...


Sarah Palin as Janet Wood

Elizabeth Hasselback as Chrissy Snow

Joe Lieberman as Mr. Furley
Lieberman Face the Nationknotts226

John Edwards as Jack Tripper

Mitt Romney as Larry Dallas
Mitt%20Romney%202larry dallas

George & Laura Bush as Stanley & Helen Roper

Laura Ingraham as Cindy Snow

Anne Coulter as Terri Alden

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Republican Whisperer

So, you've got yourself a Republican and you don't quite know how to tame the beast? You're not alone. Many Republicans are wild, aggressive and ferrell. As a whole their species has only recently started to become domesticated.

You must learn the psychology of your Republican in order to curb his naughty behaviors. According to a recent article in Scientific American:

Positive personality traits associated with liberalism (self-reliant, resilient, dominating and energetic) and negative ones attributed to conservatism (easily victimized or offended, indecisive, fearful and rigid) appear as young as nursery school–age kids—and correlate with those children's political beliefs in adulthood...
So, where possible, it's important to start training your Republican at a young age.

However, if you have missed the youthful window of opportunity it's never too late to take some basic, remedial actions.

First things first: you must establish a fearless pack leader. Your Republican will instantly feel at ease when he knows who is clearly in charge.

From the Scientific American article we learn that:
Conservatives have a need for order, for there not to be ambiguity...needing to have everything lined up and organized so that one feels one's environment is predictable and therefore safe.
Therefore, you can put your Republican further at ease by establishing a regular routine.

Start by feeding him at least two nutritious meals each day. Republicans are known to enjoy both eating their words and eating their own, but experts recommend curbing their overzealous indulgence in red meat in favor of something a bit more moderate and less tasteful so as not to upset their sensitive tummies.

Also, make sure your Republican gets plenty of fresh air and long walks each day. And when it becomes necessary for you to leave your Republican home alone, try to create a secure, safe space for him until you return.

The article also points out that:
Scientists linked the strength of a person's startle response to their political leanings: conservatives tended to scare easier, blinking harder than liberals when they heard a loud noise.
So, one way to teach your Republican what's wrong with all that's Right is to make a loud, startling noise every time he or she begins indulging in undesirable behaviors.

For example, when you're relaxing and watching television with your Republican and he starts agreeing with that filthy right wing pundit polluting your airwaves, simply bang some pots and pans together right next to his head until he quiets down and begins blinking incessantly.

Now, we know that Republicans have notorious potty training problems, often spreading their excrement in the most inappropriate places. Controversial though it may be, experts believe the most satisfactory solution to this problem is to rub their faces in it.

Armed with these techniques and a whole lot of patience most experts believe that your Republican can change his unsavory ways.

Failing that, we recommend you have the rabid beast put to sleep and try a new breed altogether.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

McCain: "Viagra will raise the DOW!"

This is a gem. The folks over at the National Review made the following strategy suggestion to McCain for his performance tonight in the third and final presidential debate:

What demeanor should McCain display tonight? Angry doesn't work. Solemn doesn't work. Fake-smiley doesn't work. Instead, McCain should go back to his roots and unleash his inner smart-aleck. If Obama accuses him of being erratic in a crisis, he should say: "So I'm erotic in a crisis? Who knew?"

PLEASE, PLEASE let McCain take their advice!! Ahahahaha

Friday, October 10, 2008

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Kitchen Sink

Just who is Barack Hussein Obama?? Well, we dug deep into his background and uncovered these shocking secrets!!

Obama is a Chinese Communist!!

Obama is a peeper!!
LA Peeps for Obama

Obama to star in sequel to Brokeback Mountain!!

Obama supports grafitti!!
Barack Obama - Santa Fe Art District

Obama surgically removed from conjoined twin Al Gore!!

Obama kidnaps white baby!!

Obama joins radical resistance group!!
Barack Obama Windu

Obama kicks wife and kids to the curb!!

Obama gives Americans the finger!!

Daughter watches as Obama gets laid!!

So, this election day, we urge you Joe and Jane Sixpacks out there to ask yourself if this perverted, radical, communist, baby-stealing, grafitti artist is the guy you want with his finger on the button!